Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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