Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
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So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
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Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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