and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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