in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
