Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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