When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize