you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
