My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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