ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
