i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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