yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
