The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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