a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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