I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
