I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
