ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
