I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
