i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Randomize
