What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
