areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
