I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
