you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
