my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
We need to rekindle our bromance
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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