Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
