Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
...so i touched it.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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