You're a womanizer and a bitch.
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize