is your mom at the bar?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
