my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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