I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
