I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
