I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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