You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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