operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
