Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
