He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
