With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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