I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I will be naked everywhere
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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