Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
We have started to decorate penises.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
