How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
