Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
