he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm passing your future prison.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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