just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
