i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
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