OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Acid is not a monday night drug
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I miss vodka workout Fridays
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
