Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
