Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
