I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
