3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
