He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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