you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
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