so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
