If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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