I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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