If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
